My World

here is a knife
and this is my heart
take the knife
slice it into equal parts
keep cutting
keep cutting
because my heart
it's hearting
wish my boo was still flirting
i messed up
what the fuck
why are my parents drunk
to take away their pain
i wish that
i could do the same
or get high
like my brother
one or the other
cuz you never were me
had to hear my mom yell
it makes my stomach churn
almost like hell
but not really
cuz i have it better
than many
and yet i feel hopeless
as if i hadnt
had planty
but im fortunate
i know
but i cant go
break out of my shell
it's like im under
a low
self esteem spell
i want to close my eyes
and feel so swell
i want to close my eyes
and have r.d.t.j. at my side
because i dotn want to hide
my happiness inside
and he made me feel alrite
but at nite
i was too uptight
yes i am to blame
for our fights
but when i close my eyes
i want there to be light
not just because his skin
is so bright
just he will know i care
and i will be there
and if i get it in return
that's all that i need
a vacation from my family
then i will be free
but i'm hearing yelling again
and i no longer have my friend
dont want to go back
to how it was before
i had him
but i open my eyes
and the happiness
never yet happened